Networking is Not My Game

“Where am I?”  I scan my printed directions for the third time to verify the address.  I look at the address on the building again . . . it's the same address.  I consult the directory posted on the wall, searching for the law firm where I was supposed to be five minutes ago . . . it is not there.  I look up and down the empty hallways wondering if maybe someone will know where I am supposed to go.  Finally a woman emerges from the elevator and I manage to corner her and ask if she knows where this law firm is.  She’s never heard of it.  But then a light bulb goes off in her head!  She says “Oh, there are two buildings with this address, the other one is just across the road.”  I thank her graciously and then walk across the street all the while thinking to myself “Who does that?  What brilliant city planner thought that having two different buildings with the same address on opposite sides of a service road would be a good idea?”

Tonight I went to my first law school alumni networking event since graduation four years ago.  I recently decided to attempt to get over my fear of networking and try to improve this skill that I never quite fully developed.  I am not a natural networker; I am who I am.  I know that I am not good at peripheral chit chat.  I am not good at making my work and/or life sound more important than it is without sounding pretentious or like I am bragging.  Whether valid or not, that is what I think of when I think of “networking.” Just the thought of walking into a room full of strangers and acquaintances, knowing I will have to engage in small talk in a noisy, crowded room is enough to make my palms sweat.

I almost didn’t go to the event tonight.  I had already had two business functions during the day – breakfast in Hollywood with a music supervisor and lunch back at the office with some composers/producers.  I was essentially “functioned” out.  The address fiasco was yet another setback in my attempt to “network.”  I also had not realized that the attire requested was “business” attire until half an hour before the event was supposed to start.  Remember, I am an entertainment attorney – not only that, I work in-house for a music company  . . . we are not exactly a buttoned up operation.  Fortunately I had heels in my car to change into so that I wouldn’t have to walk into a room wearing my trusty converse sneakers when everyone else was wearing suits.  The only thing that kept me from backing out was that the new alumni relations director is a friend of mine and she had personally emailed me asking if I could go.  I didn’t want to let her down – otherwise, she might “accidentally” kick me the next time we go to a kickboxing class together (just kidding).

Once there, it was actually a pretty good event.  I saw some faces that I haven’t seen since graduation.  I will say that it was very nice to be able to talk to people in person about what I do and feel like I sort of belonged in the "lawyer" club.  As I am the only attorney in my company, it can get a little lonely.  I was grateful to hear that many other alums have been as bad as I have in relying mostly on facebook to keep up with our old classmates.  In the facebook age, networking in person can seem irrelevant.  You already feel like you know what is going on in a person’s life.  However, I realized through (in person) comments at this event that I tend to post things on facebook that are more relevant to my personal and/or performing life than I do about my professional life.  Perhaps I shall have to change that . . . or maybe I could give this in-person communication thing a try. 

Sunday Dinner: Boef a La Mode (for cheap)

Today was the first day in a very long time that I posted a blog entry.  I have been following other friends' blogs for awhile and had been thinking that it would be nice to start mine up again.  After poking around here at blogspot today, I realized that they have made it much easier to insert pictures and videos into blog posts.  Back in the old days, you used to have to html a link to a photobucket account, and sometimes, if you were lucky, the photo would actually link and it would appear in the blog entry.  Other times, you just ended up with html gobbledy gook and have to start all over again or just give up.

In honor, of the new ease of photo entry, I am posting pictures of the dinner that I made tonight.  I love to cook, but I hate cooking for just me.  So, now that I am married, and my brother in law is living with us, it gives me an excuse to pull out a cookbook and make a "real" meal on Sunday evenings.  Tonight, I decided to break out the Julia Child cookbook and make Boef a La Mode.  It sounds fancy, and, well, I'm not going to lie, it was definitely time intensive, but it was worth it.  Around10 am this morning, I started by marinating some beef in a concoction of wine, onions, carrots, celery and thyme.  Every couple of hours, I would open up the fridge and turn the meat and baste it a little.  This was the bowl I used for the marinating (and yes, that is a Han Solo bobblehead in the background):

Around 5:30pm, I took the meat out of the marinade and had to dry it on a rack for about 30 minutes:

I browned the meat in a dutch oven and then added the marinade and cooked it at 350 in the oven for about 2 hours.  While it was cooking, I made a salad and roasted some potatoes and made braised carrots (which is really just boiled carrots with some butter added).  Once it was done, we served it with a fantastic wine: good old 2 Buck Chuck Cabernet.

Here is the finished product (my food photography skills probably need some improvement, but you get the idea):

How much did this delicious meal cost, you ask?  Well, it kind of depends on how you want to divide it up.  I had to buy an entire bottle of Brandy and a container of cloves and some beef boulion - but those are all staples that will remain in the kitchen for a long time to come.  On the other hand, I already had some staples, like butter and garlic.  Here are the two alternate calculations for the entire meal (including side dishes of salad and potatoes):

Meat $6.50 $6.50 Wine $2.00 $2.00 Bouilon $2.99  (4 tsp used) $0.40 Cloves $3.49  (2 used) $0.05 Brandy $10.00  (1/2 cup) $1.00 Potatoes $3.69  (4 used) $1.47 Lettuce $0.99 $0.99 Onion $0.79 $0.79 carrots $0.99 $0.99 celery $1.99 $1.99 cucumbers $0.99 $0.99 parsley $0.99 $0.50 green bell pepper $0.99 $0.99 red pepper $1.00 $1.00 total: $37.40 $19.66 per person (4 people) $9.35 $4.91
So, there you have it, a delicious Sunday dinner for 4 people for $5-$10 per person (depending on how you do the calculations).  We didn't have any leftovers, except for a little salad (which I will probably take to work with me tomorrow for lunch).  We had three grown men sitting at a table that had meat and potatoes on it - I knew there wouldn't be any leftovers.  But I am glad it was a success!

September 11

September 11, 2011

“What the bloody hell is going on?”  Those were the first words my British boyfriend at the time said to me as he called me from 6,000 miles away at 9am on September 11, 2001.  Not “hi” or “hello” just “What the bloody hell is going on?”  I had no answer for him.  I had just spent the past hour glued to the TV, jaw gaping, in complete silence as I watched the towers fall.  It was like something out of a movie, not real life.  My entire view of the world had been altered in one single morning.  Even though, I didn’t personally know anyone in the twin towers at the time, and even though I lived on the other side of the country, September 11, 2001 had a huge impact on my life.

Over the summer in 2001, my sister had the opportunity to play in her marching band in the 4^th of July parade in Washington, DC.  We made a family trip of it, going to DC and then taking the train up to New York City.  It was only my second time in New York, and I loved it.  We had a blast! We went to several Broadway shows, and did all the tourist attractions, including visiting the World Trade Center.  I have a picture of the twin towers 2 months before they fell.  I remember looking up at them, reaching high into the sky, and thinking “What would they do if there was a fire in one of these buildings?”  Little did I know that, in less than two months, the entire world would soon get the answer to that question.

I was 23 and fresh out of college.  I wanted to be an actress; so obviously, my choices were to move to either New York or LA.  Even though I had a great time on our family trip, I didn’t really know anyone in New York at the time, and my parents grew up in LA, so I had plenty of resources there.  Some family friends offered me a job at their law firm in LA and were letting me stay with them until I decided whether it would a permanent move.  I figured I would probably give LA a try for a year or two and then move to New York and try for Broadway.  September 11 changed all that.

Growing up as a teenager in the 90’s, we didn’t have a “cause” to get behind.  Our parents had the civil rights movement and the Vietnam War, our grandparents had World War II.  What did we have?  Nirvana and the grunge movement; a bunch of pretentious kids who don’t feel like showering and imagining that they are miserable without necessarily having a real reason to be miserable.  Rebelling against the bubble gum pop and neon colors of the 80’s – (insert sarcastic tone here) because that’s something “real” to rebel against. I think it lead to a certain amount of apathy and selfishness on our part.  And then our world was shaken apart in a very real way.  But unlike the Vietnam War, the Civil Rights movement, and World War II, we were now engaging in a “War on Terror” not a war against a specific country or government.  It is very difficult to wage a war on an idea.  This is probably one of the many reasons the focus of the war eventually shifted to Iraq; because it is much easier to go up against a country than an idea, but that’s an entry for another day . . .

Obviously, the idea of me moving to New York any time soon was completely out of the picture.  I had been offered a job as a cocktail waitress at the Century Club the week before September 11.  My first shift was September 13 – after my first night, they told me they no longer needed me because no one felt like going out and partying.  I had a cousin who got married in Vegas less than a week after September 11.  I can remember sitting in the airport with my grandmother.  We were hungry, so stopped at a restaurant to get some food, and there were real forks and spoons, but all the knives were plastic.   My sister and I each took home a centerpiece from the wedding, a potted rose plant, and were nervous that security would take them away because of the thorns on the roses – and the potential for burying something in the dirt in the pot.

One upside was that my British boyfriend came out to visit that October and we went to most of the theme parks in Southern California.  Everyone warned us not to go because “a terrorist might attack Disneyland.”  I refused to be terrorized.  My theory was: if I get killed at a bombing at Disneyland, at least I died having fun at the happiest place on Earth.  There was definitely extra security at the theme parks.  However, as a result of everyone else giving into the terror and staying home, there were hardly any lines and we had a great time.  I don’t blame September 11 for the break down of that relationship, but it definitely was a factor.  September 11 made everyone skittish.  It was hard to commit to anything long term in the immediate aftermath.  No one knew where the world would be or what the economy would do in the days/months/years to follow.  The dot com bubble had already burst, and this was yet another setback in the world economy.  It was very hard to keep up a 6,000 mile long distance relationship with that much world wide uncertainty.

In some ways, it’s hard to believe that it’s already been 10 years.  The feelings are still fresh in my mind.  I haven’t been able to watch the news this week without breaking down in tears.  But at the same time, so much has happened in the years since.  Not just worldwide, but in my own personal life.  I am now happily married, I own a house, I have a cat, who is currently meowing at me because she wants attention.  I didn’t become an actress (at least not full time).  9/11 caused all the production in both New York and LA to come to a screeching halt – which seriously derailed a lot of plans.  It definitely broke my momentum for pursuing that career path.  But at least I ended up in the industry I have always wanted to work in.  I went to law school and now work in entertainment as a music licensing attorney.  I am in the industry I always wanted to work in, and yet I have a steady paycheck, which I definitely would not have had I remained on the actor career path.

The oddest thing to me in all this is knowing that, someday, I will have to explain what the world was like before September 11 to my kids.  I remember, when I was looking at law schools in New York City, I came across the globe-like statue that had been saved from the rubble of the World Trade Center.  I was standing there in front of it reminiscing when a family came up and I overheard the mom explaining to her 2 year old what it was and why it was important.  I have so many friends with kids now and they were telling me that it was difficult explaining to their children who Osama Bin Laden was and why Americans were happy that he is dead.  I guess someday I will have to face explanations like that myself.  In the mean time, I think I will take today and just remember what it was like before the world changed.

Performing again!

A lot has happened in the last week! (see, I told you I would try to do this more regularly) And this gets to be a happier post.

Since my last post, Aaron and I went down to San Diego for a friend's wedding, I got a horrendous cold, I auditioned for a musical for the first time in years, I went to callbacks for that musical, I got into that musical and Aaron had his birthday.

So I guess I'll go chronologically:

1. Karyn's wedding.

My friend, Karyn Ruark, got married in a beautiful ceremony in San Diego. Karyn is like my little sister - seriously, I remember her in diapers. So it was kind of weird to see her get married. I wasn't in the bridal party this time, but I had the honor of doing the bride's makeup. Sharon and I woke up at some ungodly hour and drove down to the salon to do Karyn's makeup, as well as help some of the bridesmaids with their makeup. Then we drove over to the church and helped set up some of the decorations. The ceremony was at the Immaculata at USD, and then the reception was at the Town and Country hotel. All the roses at the hotel were in full bloom. The reception had dancing, karaoke and yummy food. Later that night I started to feel that familiar scratch in the throat. Of course, it could have been shouting . . . er, singing "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" for karaoke. But, the next morning, I knew it was a full blown cold.

2. My cold

Sunday morning, I woke up with a sore throat. I knew it was much more than just wine and karaoke. Aaron and I came back to LA and I slept on the couch the whole day. I ended up calling in sick to work on Tuesday because I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like someone had burned a hole through my throat, and every time I swallowed, the fire would rise up and retaliate against my body for that involuntary action.

3. Auditions

Monday night were auditions for a community theatre production of "Chorus Line." I haven't done a musical since I played Wendy in "Peter Pan" 10 years ago (I cannot believe that it's been that long). I've been missing musical theatre so much. At least when I was dancing with Mehtropolis, I was performing regularly, so I was still able to satisfy that performance bug, but it's been over a year since my last show . . . and if you know me, you know that screws with my sanity. So, when I saw the audition notice, I thought "if there's a better show than 'Chorus Line' to be my re-introduction to musical theatre, I don't know it." I dug up my old headshots and resume, old sheet music and voice lesson cassette tapes and started practicing. (For once thankful for my horrendously long commute in my car that has a cassette player).

Of course, Monday came and I had no voice because of my cold. So I was hoping they would dance first and then sing. I showed up at the auditions ridiculously early because a) I always do that, and b) the theatre is around the corner from work. When I got there, there was just the director and one other auditioner there, so I asked if we were singing or dancing first, and the director said singing would be first - immediately I said "Ok, I have a cold!" She had a good laugh and thanked me for telling her. When I sang, it was OBVIOUS that I had a cold, so I am really glad I said something.

Fortunately, they didn't do a cut between singing and dancing - everybody got to dance. We learned the first section of the original choreography to "I Hope I Get It." Let me just say this, 80's jazz and me don't necessarily mix well. And the choreographer taught it really fast! It was not good. Seriously, I think we maybe spent 5 minutes learning the choreography before they broke us into groups of TWO for judging - and I had to go first, with a guy who doesn't dance! It was bad. Before doing the combination, we had to do a double pirouette on each side, followed by double and triple time steps on each side. My pirouettes were fantastic (yay ballet!). I can't remember the last time I did a single time step, let alone a double - and I don't think I've ever done a triple time step. I did not have the choreography down for the combination at all. I walked away from the experience thinking "Well, I'm glad I went. Now I just need to get back into the practice of auditioning . . . I'll find other auditions to go to." Honestly, I wouldn't have called me back after the disaster that was my initial audition.

But, lo and behold, the next day, they called me back! I seriously think it was my pirouettes that got me called back. After getting the callback, I went to YouTube to look up the choreography to see what I was missing. The first callbacks were dancing only – so we added to the jazz combination (good thing I looked it up). That round went much better, though I still was fighting my cold and my energy plummeted part way through. After the jazz combination, we learned a ballet section . . . (big sigh of relief). I like ballet! I can do ballet in my sleep (and sometimes do). But I still wasn’t sure if it was enough to get me called back again for the acting callback.

The next day, they called me back! I read for Val (T&A), Kristine (can’t sing), and Bebe (sings the alto part of “At the Ballet”). I was ecstatic to even be considered for Val – last time I was auditioning, I would have been the young ingénue, so to get to be considered for a “sexy” role, was exciting! When I read for Kristine, I thought I did pretty well, got a few chuckles, but then this other girl went up and was HILARIOUS! I felt confident about my read on Val’s monologue. But then we learned Val’s song, and there was a girl there who already knew the song and could belt it out of the park – seriously, she had an AMAZING voice. I didn’t get to see her do Val's monologue, though - we read those individually in front of the director. When we learned “At the Ballet”, there were a bunch of us all in the room together. It was the end of the night, and we were running late, so the director had us sing in groups of 2 or 3 and she just picked our voices out from the groups. It was weird learning the alto part (in the past, I had been a soprano). Honestly, I think the only reason I was able to hit some of those low notes was because I still had a cold and my voice was not yet back to normal.

4. Getting in the show.

I got into the show! I’ll be playing the “Cut Dancer” and understudying Val, Kristine and Judy, with “guaranteed performances.” Part of me is kind of disappointed that I didn’t get a named character role. But honestly, I really just wanted to be around musical theatre again. And this way I get to learn 4 parts (mine and the other 3) instead of just one. If I hadn’t gotten into this show, I probably would have found an acting class to take anyway, so this way I get to sing, dance and act for free – and still get to perform! It has seriously been so long since I’ve done a musical, I’m really kind of starting out at the bottom of the totem pole again, so I’m just glad to be involved.

Here are the details for the show: It will be at the Morgan Wixson Theatre in Santa Monica, June 26 – July 31. Here’s a link to the theatre’s website: http://www.morgan-wixson.org/ As soon as I find out when I’ll be playing the bigger roles, I’ll be sure to let you know.

Birthdays that could have been

Wow - so it may appear that I have abandoned this blog - but I haven't. I'm always composing in my head things to post. Perhaps I will start to get better at actually posting the thoughts that rattle around in my head on a constant basis.

If you are reading this, I am going to assume a) you know me and b) you know why I haven't touched this blog in over 6 months (something to do with the last part of 2009 being one of the worst times in my life). That being said, I don't feel the need to re-cap anything that's happened in the last 6-7 months.

On to today's topic: Today, April 7, would have been my father-in-law's birthday. So many things have happened in the past two days that remind me of him that I can't help thinking that perhaps it's not all a coincidence.

1) Last night the wind was so bad that it kept blowing a tree branch against the roof of our bedroom - Aaron and I ended up sleeping in the guest room for some peace and quiet. The last time I slept in the guest room was when Aaron was in Chicago while his dad was in the hospital. I slept there because I didn't want to sleep in our bed alone - not really the best reason for my first time sleeping in the house alone. At least this time I had Aaron with me.

2) Today I went to the beach for lunch. I used to text my father-in-law about all kinds of random things - I'd almost always text him when it was nice out. I really wanted to text him about how gorgeous it was today and send him a picture of the beach. I also went to the beach to de-stress after I dropped Aaron off at the airport when he returned to his dad in the hospital. The backdrop for my phone has been a picture that I took that day - I think I might change it to the picture I took today.

3) Oprah's new network (OWN) licensed some music from us for promos - of course, today was the day that deal went through. Almost cried while drafting the contract because I definitely would have texted or emailed him about it right away. We may be entering into a longer term contract with them, too, which is something I always told him they should do.

4) On my drive home tonight, the light-post, that had been going out almost every night after he passed, went out right as I drove past yet again. Apparently that sort of thing can indicate a sign from the other side.

There are plenty of other things, but I can't think of them right now. I just know that I miss my dad-in-law very much. He will always be remembered by me as being full of life and love and he would want us to keep living life to the fullest.

P.S. Stuff like this reminds me that life is short and you need to tell those close to you how you really feel. To all my family: I love you. :)

xx

Carpets and Moms

Wow - so much has happened in just the week and a half since my last post.

We decided to go with Empire for our carpet. The guy who came out to our house was the typical sales guy. I almost wanted to show him the door just because he was so obnoxious. I hate how sales people feel the need to treat me as though I am not as intelligent or as knowledgeable as them. Granted, I am probably not as knowledgeable about their particular product as they are - which is why I called them out to my house in the first place. But please, treat me as a reasonably intelligent human being. I almost got into an argument with the guy over jingles - yes, jingles. He was essentially trying to intimate that Empire was the first company to ever use a jingle effectively. Ha!

It took him forever to finally bring the carpet samples in - which was an issue because the bank had turned off the power to the house, so we were using the remaining daylight. Fortunately the house gets pretty good natural light, so we were able to make the most of it. Once he finally brought the samples in, Aaron and I devised all kinds of tests to decide which one we liked the most. We took our shoes off and stepped on it. I did a little dance. In the end, the most effective test was the "elbow test" in which we laid on the floor with our elbows on the carpet. That eliminated a couple right away for being to scratchy. In the end, we chose a mid-level plush in a color called "Milky Way." Then the guy told us it would be $3,000. We said, "Thank you. We have to think about it and price it out at other stores." At which point he hammered us with how great the company is and how nobody could beat their price and service (installation and haul away are included in the price). We kept insisting that we were not going to enter into a contract at this time. How could I be prepared to enter into a contract when they don't post their prices online and I had no way of preparing myself for how much we were going to spend? So then he pulled the classic sales guy technique of "calling his manager" - of course, right in our earshot so we could hear him reacting with "surprise." After the phone call, the price dropped by $900. At which point, Aaron and I decided that we might as well go for it because it was a little cheaper than Home Depot and it could be done before we moved our furniture in. Sweet. One more thing taken care of.

Aaron's mom arrived on Tuesday to help us fix up the house. I have to admit, whatever daughter-in-law nerves I may have had were totally unfounded. She has been fantastic! On Tuesday night, we went out to dinner in Santa Monica and then drove out to the house so that she could see it and we could go over ideas. Almost every paint color idea she had corresponded or was better than the ideas I had! She knows all kinds of stuff about how to fix up houses - what are quick fixes, where you can save money, what would be cost effective and what would not. It's amazing!

Yesterday, I rode my bike to work, Aaron borrowed my car, and Aaron's mom borrowed his car. While we were at work, Aaron's mom packed up all my wine glasses and other breakables and took them up to the house where she got straight to work. Aaron and I joined her after work. She had already painted our entire master bedroom (not to mention gone to Home Depot and gotten a bunch of supplies and unpacked the breakables and put them in the kitchen for me). We then went to Home Depot and picked out our new stove and hood. We were looking at the microwave hoods, but the way the tile in our kitchen is, we determined it wouldn't work. After Home Depot, we went out for pizza and then went home and fell into bed exhausted.

I'm a homeowner!

Well, it is all done - at least, the paperwork and escrow and all that. Aaron and I are officially homeowners!!!

Now the real fun begins: fixing up the place. :)

We got our keys on Friday evening. I drove up at 5:15pm on a Friday night - great introduction to what my commute will be like. It took me a little over an hour to get there, which is about what I was expecting. Our agent had to be in Santa Clarita by 6:30, so he left the property open and the keys in the drawer next to the dishwasher - there's nothing inside the house for anyone to steal, and I got there only 15 minutes after he left, so everything was fine. Aaron joined me by 8pm. We wandered around the house, exploring everything and making notes of what exactly we need to do first.

Our next door neighbors had told us the AC didn't work in the front of the house - apparently the previous renters bought an AC unit for the front bedroom. When the next door neighbors inquired about why, the renters complained that the house was too hot and the AC didn't work at all in the front of the house. So that was one of the first things we checked out. I turned on the AC and went around to all the vents to make sure they were working properly. When I got to the living room, I noticed the two vents were closed - as was the vent in the front bedroom. Now, I never met the renters (who were running their Psychic business out of the house), so I'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt - but if you go and BUY an AC unit without checking to see if there is a quick and inexpensive fix, then I'm going to call you a moron. Those people were morons when it came to the AC, not to mention, not very good psychics - Aaron and I opened the vents and they work fine. So that's good - one less thing we have to fix.

On Saturday, we drove out to a family friend's place. She's giving us a washer and dryer and may have some other furniture to sell us. We took a look at the washer and dryer - the dryer is very old, but it works and that's what matters. This will give us time to figure out exactly what type of appliances we want to get and enable us to save up for them. After that, we went back to the house and wandered around a little more.

Sunday was a very tiring day for me. Aaron and I went to Home Depot and spent about 2 hours and $150 there. I started to get a little whiny after an hour and a half. Who knew Home Depot would have so many fans blowing stuff into my face?! I wanted to claw my eyes out by the time we finished there. But after Home Depot, we decided to have our first meal in our house together. So we stopped at In-N-Out and then brought it back and had a picnic on the empty floor of our family room (or as my dad likes to call it, the "Seance Room").

We finally got the sprinklers in the front yard to work. I bought a garden hose and mobile sprinkler for the back yard. So we watered the lawn for a bit and raked the jacaranda flowers off the patio. We also bought timers for some lamps in the house so that it looks like someone is there even before we actually move in. We bought a really cool light sensor for the front porch that is supposed to turn the light on at dusk and off at dawn - I thought that was particularly clever. :)

Next step is figuring out carpeting. We looked at Home Depot and found some carpet that we actually like, but it will take 3 weeks for delivery/installation. On Wednesday, we have a free in-home consultation from Empire (you know the jingle!). So I guess it will come down to cost v. speed v. quality. We're still open to any other suggestions, so let me know if you have any recommendations!